Bullying at School: How Can Parents Deal with It?

Pesten op school: hoe ga je hier als ouder mee om?

Bullying can have a significant impact on a child's self-confidence and well-being. Learn how to recognize the warning signs and what you can do as a parent to help.

Bullying is something no parent wants their child to experience. Unfortunately, many children face exclusion, teasing, hurtful comments, or online harassment at some point in their lives. The effects can be serious, both in the short and long term. That is why it is important to recognize the signs early and make sure your child knows they are not alone.

What is bullying?

Bullying goes beyond a one-time disagreement or argument. It usually involves repeated behavior in which a child is deliberately hurt, excluded, humiliated, or intimidated. Bullying can be physical, verbal, social, or digital.

Examples of bullying include:

  • mocking, teasing, or insulting;
  • excluding a child from activities;
  • spreading gossip or rumors;
  • taking or damaging belongings;
  • threatening or intimidating;
  • cyberbullying through messages, social media, or group chats.

Because of smartphones and social media, bullying unfortunately does not always stop when the school day ends. This makes it especially important to stay alert to changes in your child's behavior.

How can you recognize signs of bullying?

Not every child will immediately tell their parents that they are being bullied. Feelings of shame, fear, or insecurity may cause them to keep their experiences to themselves. For that reason, it is important to watch for signs that something may be wrong.

1. Your child becomes more withdrawn

Children who are being bullied may become quieter at home than usual. They may spend more time alone in their room, talk less about school, or lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed.

2. Your child no longer wants to go to school

Sudden resistance to attending school can be an important warning sign. Some children frequently complain of stomach aches, headaches, or fatigue, especially on school days.

While physical complaints can have many causes, they deserve attention if they occur regularly.

3. Less contact with friends

Is your child being invited less often, or have friends suddenly stopped coming over? This may indicate that something is happening within their social group.

4. Changes in sleep or behavior

Stress and anxiety can affect sleep patterns. Some children sleep poorly, have nightmares, or wake up more often during the night. Irritability, sadness, or anger can also be signs that a child is struggling emotionally.

What should you do if you suspect your child is being bullied?

If you recognize these signs, try to remain calm and start a conversation. Rather than immediately offering solutions, focus first on listening to your child's story.

Keep talking without judgment

Give your child the opportunity to explain what is happening. Ask open-ended questions and show that you are listening. Take their feelings seriously, even if the situation may seem minor from an adult perspective.

Children often feel safer when they know they will not be judged or immediately told what to do.

Show your support

A child who is being bullied can feel very alone. Make it clear that you are there to help and support them. Simply knowing that their parents are on their side can make a significant difference.

Work together with the school

If bullying appears to be taking place, contact your child's teacher or school staff. Most schools have anti-bullying policies and can monitor situations more effectively when they are aware of what is happening.

Strong cooperation between parents and schools greatly increases the chances of resolving the problem successfully.

What if the bullying happens online?

Cyberbullying can be just as damaging as bullying at school. Hurtful messages, photos, or comments can spread quickly and make children feel as though they are never truly safe.

If online bullying is occurring:

  • take screenshots of messages or images;
  • block the individuals involved whenever possible;
  • report inappropriate content to the platform;
  • save evidence of the bullying;
  • inform the school if classmates are involved.

Throughout the process, remain calm and work together with your child to find solutions.

How can you help rebuild your child's self-confidence?

Bullying can have a major impact on a child's self-esteem. That is why it is important to create positive experiences outside of school as well.

Encourage hobbies, sports, creative activities, or opportunities where your child can experience success. These experiences help children discover their strengths and rebuild confidence in themselves.

With durable wooden toys, children can build, create, and develop new skills through play. Positive experiences often help restore confidence and resilience.

Peace and security at home are especially important

When a child is being bullied, they need a home environment that feels safe, predictable, and supportive. Make time for relaxation, quality family moments, and consistent daily routines.

A favorite cuddly toy can provide extra comfort during difficult periods. Explore our collection of plush toys for children, designed to offer comfort and reassurance when children feel sad or uncertain.

Good sleep is also important for processing emotions. A consistent bedtime routine supported by a children's alarm clock or sleep trainer can help create additional structure and calm.

When should you seek professional help?

If the problems continue or you notice that your child remains withdrawn, anxious, or unhappy for an extended period, it may be wise to seek additional support through the school, your family doctor, or a child mental health professional.

The earlier a child receives support, the greater the chance of limiting the long-term effects of bullying.

Your child does not have to face this alone

Bullying is never the fault of the child being bullied. As a parent, you can make a huge difference by taking concerns seriously, maintaining open communication, and working closely with the school.

With support, understanding, and the right guidance, children can rebuild trust in themselves and in the people around them.

Have you experienced bullying at school, and what approach do you think helped the most?